September Ramblings

The little one will turn 14 months tomorrow. I still have to take her to a studio for her one year old portrait. I still haven't gotten around to making her baby book. Or printing her pictures. Oh and writing her birth story. I surely will. It's only a question of when. Riiiight.

But I'm happy to report that she loves her veggies and fruits. I'm so thankful that I never have to struggle to feed her healthy foods. And she drinks plenty of water. No juices as she eats enough fruits. No junk foods either. It helps that the hubby and I introduce her to a wide variety of food. It can get tiring though, as any parent knows, to patiently feed a toddler and make sure he/she gets the right nutrients. But the upside is our family is forced to eat healthy too. I've never filled my fridge with different kinds of fruits and veggies in my whole life. I had to have a baby to do so!

I'm slowly unpacking our boxes that are stored in the garage, but I'm done with the essential ones. The big job will be to look at each and every box and decide which stuff goes for donation. We have boxes that are still unopened from our move from Japan almost four years ago. I can't wait to get rid of what we really don't need.

We are almost 100% sure of spending Christmas back in my home country (Philippines). Dear hubby's boss approved his two-week leave. My family will finally get to meet Tala. They will go crazy over her. I might have to make sure they don't try to kidnap my beautiful baby. Lol. I can totally see my mom crying when she finally holds Tala in her arms. It would be pandemonium at her house, what with four granddaughters, plus Tala,  under the age of 8 staying there. 

Christmas in the Philippines! Nothing could be merrier!

Goodbye, Our Beloved Pop

It's been a crazy couple of months. DH lost his dad yesterday due to diabetes complications. It all happened so fast. We knew he was sick, just not that sick. Our only consolation was that we were given a little time to come to terms with the inevitable. More importantly, his dad had the opportunity to accept everything.

It's amazing how gracious he was, how full of humor and silliness amidst his pain. And Tala. Tala was the light of his life. How he loved his little princess. He would play and pretend  to fight with her every time we were at the hospital to see him. He was so brave. The only time that he broke down was when he told her he was sorry he was not gonna see her grow up.

He was so thankful to Vince. I'm really grateful that they had these last three years to be with each other, and bond as only a father and son can. We didn't see it at the time, but perhaps the reason why Vince chose San Antonio to be his last station was because of this. So that he and his Dad can enjoy each other which they absolutely did up to the very end. Two playful and silly men who loved making fun of each other.

Rest in peace, Dad. May the angels take you to the heavens where pain is no more; where only love and happiness reign. I will take care of your boy and little princess. And all of your future grandchildren. We're already working on another one . :-)

Ready to be Me

This excerpt from the book Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney sums up how I feel sometimes:

"You tried to tell her, as well as you could, what it was like being you. You described the feelings you'd always had of being misplaced, of always standing to one side of yourself in the world even as you were being in the world, and wondering if this was how everyone felt."

Being in my mid-thirties, you'd think I would have figured out what direction my life is gonna take. But no. It's still an ongoing process. I'm still a work in progress. But aren't we all? Haven't all of us, at one time or another, diverted from our original route, whether by accident or intention?

To this day, I am nowhere near where I want to be. I am so far removed from where my passion lies. Always in doubt, always afraid. I am summoning the courage to finally break free from my invisible chains. It's hard, but I'll be damned if I will let it stop me from being who I really am.

I'm done with excuses. I'm ready to shine.

That Nagging Feeling

You know when you get that feeling that something's off, but you can't point your finger at anything specific? That's kinda how I feel right now. There's a tiny knot in my stomach; a little dread that's unsettling. I have a lot of questions that can't be answered for the time being. So I guess I just have to be patient. I hope all the pieces fall into place eventually. 

For now, I'll just keep on keeping on.